The First Time

 

The first time I kissed a girl

She said I did it wrong.

(She told me eyes must be closed.)

 

The first time I kissed a guy

It didn’t take so long.

(I was really unprepared.)

 

The first time I wore a dress

A wig obscured my head,

(While rocking makeup, heels ‘n hose.)

 

The first time I saw a woman’s breast

A baby was being fed.

(I didn’t quite know where to look.)

 

The first time I proposed

She told me “absolutely no.”

(The second time she said “no” again.)

 

The first time I saw her glow

She told me she loved me so,

(And then I drove her home).

 

The first time I was engaged

She eloped and didn’t tell her folks.

(She didn’t tell me either.)

 

I’ve died a thousand little deaths since then,

Imagining places I’ll never know,

As age begins to take its toll.

 

But now I know to close my eyes,

To wear low heels and only glance, and

To not give up when first answered “no”.