#NaPoWriMo2019 - Redemption

Redemption

On the edge of giving up,
Preparing to go home,
Crushed by the weight
Of repentance and deception
Tearing out my soul.
Cross-dressing prostitutes
Working the streets outside
While inside showers,
Only two minutes hot,
In a cold, dirty tiled pensione
With windows left open to
Assure we don’t die in our sleep
From a gas-powered oven,
Leaking in diesel and smog,
While exhaustion seeps out.
Knocking on infernal doors
With a mission companion I hated.
My fiancé touring by train
Just meters away – but
Denied permission to visit.

In this, my personal Gethsemane
A sister missionary posted a thesis,
On our door, written on the back
Of an A&W restaurant card,
To me declaring:

“I love the church
And I love all my brothers and sisters in it 
And I love you too.”